Mom

Its been almost 19 months since I have written here. Lot of things happened during this time. There are things that change you, things that make you stronger, things that make you think whether you have done the right thing, things that make you look stupid. One of the biggest loss is my Mom passing away. Even though every one did almost everything, there is still the nagging feeling, have we done enough. I did not have the courage to write about this. I came back after 15 years to spend time with parents but it was not to be. Since I never had the courage to share with her (or with anyone else) my personal feelings, all I can meekly say now is wherever you are I miss you and will always love you.

Golf ...in India

So I consider myself a pretty good golfer. Been playing for almost 3 years in U.S. I have a funny style of playing but the swing does its job and I have lot of fun. There are almost 6 golf courses nearby in Gurgaon and surrounding areas. We choose to go to TERI golf course. Unlike U.S, I make no tee time reservations, go there, have nice aloo parathas, chai, puri cholley and hit couple of baskets of balls, all for a princely amount of 150 rupees. Match that U.S

Now I am used to either walking on my own dragging my clubs or driving the golf cart, getting in water, going in woods etc to search my golf balls even after praying to the mighty golf Gods. Here I get two caddies for 2 person, they carry the bags for you. Even though the guys have never held a golf club, I am amazed at their knowledge. Like a true caddie, they give me the correct club to hit with, they tell me exactly where to putt my ball on the green. First couple of holes, I was not very comfortable with this. But with the third hole, man I am enjoying the caddie and the golf course. I finished with a decent 4 over par on a 6 hole golf course.

So if you can manage to be a member (8 lakhs fee) or go with a member, I will guarantee, that you will have a great time.

Hmmm, I am tired

So I am back in Richmond. Its mind numbing work of cleaning, throwing, selling etc. Things are going slowly and painfully. The only thing that helps are all the get togethers in the evening, watching football, playing golf and just making fun of each other while having a drink.

Used to be 30 mile drive was a no big deal. Now it looks painful. Got used to the 1 KM drive from home to work. In California now, taking me 1 hour 15 minutes for a 26 mile drive.

So Rahamat and I are sitting, at a mexican restaurant with a friend and his wife. This friend is showing off his spanish speaking skills and we are all enjoying a jumbo margarita. As my friend is talking to the latino waitress, she says can I tell all of them a story of what you did. Now everyone forces her to share the story. So this friend is waiting to take some food home and while waiting decided to drown couple of Margaritas. She asks him how u doing (que pasa I think) and he answers her good and thanks in spanish. Next she says how is your wife doing and he says "On the Rocks". She starts laughing and he does not get it. He gets it only during his third drink...

Angrez( and also Happy Birthday to myself)

So I am close to halfway point of a healthy average male life span now. Spent 39% of life in U.S and spent 61% in U.S. Happy Birthday Dude. Now work on the next 2 year plan. You have a long way to go.

Spent the whole week with my friends and new friends from America and U.K. Really enjoyed playing host

So I am with a friend a friend in delhi just relaxing and get a call from my Angrez friend (Chris, tum kaise ho) at 11 P.M. He landed safely but his luggage has not. He has nothing except laptop and one pair of clothes he is wearing. He says, I need to take him to get the essentials.

So I go there at 11 AM next day to pick him up and go to Big Bazzaar, to buy him guess what underwear, toothbrush, shirts, pants and shaving stuff. After that we go to Delhi with a U.K guy to see Old Fort and Qutab Minar and Connaught Place (its new name now is Rajiv Chowk). But more about that later

So my Angrez friend (who was my first boss, 11 years ago) is really happy after the fresh underwear and we get cappucino in coffee day.

Next day, he goes to airport. Spent lot of time there but his luggage has not arrived. Other colleagues arrives that night. One of them loses his luggage and we take him again shopping. One person sat near the stinky toilet with 5 yelling kids on a 14 hr flight, so he does not look too happy.

So we went to the hotel. Buffet is arranged outside in huge lawn and a couple were singing Abba and other old songs. After two drinks, these guys are pretty happy and not complaining and even the food they say is great.

Next day, go airport same story. Not a single time are my angrez friends complaining. They are using blackerries to e-mail, call, pester them but not a single instance were they rude.

Next day, we were shopping in Delhi Haat and he gets a phone call that his luggage has arrived and we tell them to bring to the hotel. The customer service guys were so happy, that they sent a nice e-mail telling him how much they appreciated the angrez's patience

I was thinking about the last 3 months. I have also changed, have more patience but just looking at the last 3 days, thought, its a crazy world, let's give everyone a chance. Nothing is that important to lose your patience and get angry. The only thing that happens is that your blood pressure goes up.

Dress Code

So we went to Big Bazaar in DT mall. Friend wanted to buy couple of things. Big Bazaar is the Walmart of India though on a much smaller scale. Never liked shopping in Walmart and very uncomfortable with crowds in Big Bazaar. Like to think of myself as a tight-ass smarmy yuppie eh!. Anyway, my friend wears a bright orange shirt and grey colored pant and because it was very hot I was very wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. After going inside, I did not want to hang in other sections, so left for electronics section and told my friend to call once he is done. No more than 10 minutes later, there was a tap on my shoulder and my friend says “we need to get out of here”. I said what’s wrong up so soona as I need to test some home theaters. He just told me to look around. This was very funny to me as all the employees were wearing the exact same colored shirt and pant that he was wearing. So in the last 10 minutes, people asked him where diapers are, how much does a bathroom cleaner cost and one woman even asked him to get a cooker and other utensils down which she could not reach. Now normally my friend gets very pissed off with this but we just went outside, had a coffee which is more expensive than Starbucks and went home.

We went to Pizza corner in Hyderabad where I wore a red t-shirt which I was proud to tell everyone, I got a superb deal. I look around and everyone is wearing a red-shirt who works at the Pizza corner. I made sure I had Aliza in my hands otherwise people would have asked me to serve them breadsticks and tea.

So the moral of the story here, please remember what the dress code of each of the restaurants and other big shops are as you might be mistaken for an employee and might have to serve tea to customers.

Dude's funny hair cut

So my hair was almost growing to be an inch long. All the girlfriends tell me I am looking shabby :). So I went on a pusuit of a haircut. I see lot of slimming centers for men and women and lot of beauty salons, only for women. After about 20 minutes, find a nice little shop for men. I am the next guy in line. For a moment, I flirted with the idea of shaving and look like Michael Jordan and then the haircut which looks like you never comb your hair. Then the reality of my less than an inch hair sank in and read about how to apply mehendi well to my hands. Yes, the shop only had women's magazine.

So I get on the chair. He asks, low medium or high. Better be safe and I tell him medium with a little bit of concern as I did not want to have just spikes as hair. Dude's got a reputation to preserve. In U.S, I am used to getting my haircut done in 4-5 minutes. It was a long drawn out affair here. Then he asked me, do u need maalish. I thought it was a 2 minute thing. He banged, massaged, twisted, turned and pretty much broke my back and head. It was a good little experience. After all the hassles of 40 minutes, the bill was 50 rupees.

My hair looks o.k, my body seems fine. I just need some water, no let's make it badam milk.

Different countries, Same Old Life

Sitting with my boss in his 750 k house, in the suburbs of D.C with his friends having a steak and beer(s). Conversation is all about real estate, how big each of their houses are, where to invest next, looks like East Europe is a good place to invest. We have more beers

Sitting with colleagues and friends in a 40 lakh apartment, in suburbs od Delhi having Dhaba food and beers(s). Conversation is all about real estate, how big each of their houses are, where to invest next, looks like Jaipur and maneshwar is a good place to invest. We have more beers


Train Of Life

Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.

They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their head and cry.

But I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.

So strap me to the engine,
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.

I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.

I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.

So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front, and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.

It's all right to remember,
That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.

The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.

It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You got to drive the train!

~author unknown~

Oh how we change

So we decided to go to Delhi. We take the Gurgaon-Mehrauli Rd. From my apartment, about 15 km later, suddenly Qutab Minar shows up. We decide to stop by. When I visited Delhi and took the bus tour with my dad/mom/bro/sis, these were very fabulous things to watch. This was nearly 20 years ago. I was at that time very excited and took lot of pictures. When I go there now, I see how muslim and hindu rulers have merged the architecture. I also see differences in architecture. I am not so awed by the Qutab itself, I am more curious about the stories behind the construction. I want to know what were the conditions at that time. The history of Delhi book does not give me details. What happened... did I become more intellectual or suddenly become more cynical.

Next stop was Palika bazaar. For a guy who does not remember the faces and facts which happened 6 months ago, some how I could still clearly remember, mom and dad, bro and sis together all sitting on top of the underground pailika bazaar and enjoying bread bajji 20 years ago. How does this brain of mine work. Do I have such a highly selective memory. Do some memories get digitally implanted whereas others fade away in seconds. I call my parents and my mom even remembers abba sneaking off my sis and having ice cream without giving ice cream to us. How can we remember so well some memories while others we forget.

Palika Bazaar gave me a difference of thinking too. Too much smoke inside, what happens if the power goes off, there might be a big stampede. Always on the lookout for exits nearby;make my escape. When did I become so cautious.

From one day, I just got the feeling that I have become in my mind a cynical cautious curious guy with a highly selective memory. Who knows what I will be next year.

My little car in India

So finally after nearly 2 months going in a rickshaw and walking around, I bought the Maruti (suzuki) Swift. Sweet little car with European styling. Got away from buying big cars, the american way. Now buying this little car was an experience.

You would think as an NRI its easier to get a loan. Sorry everybody, its the most painful experience. So I gave them tonnes of paperwork, the guy says everything will be ready on Monday. In India, promises and timeliness are not be worried about too much. Monday comes and goes. Tuesday comes, same issue. I had a fit and took the branch manager into a room and gave him a piece of my mind. I asked him to fire three girls who are all attitude and no customer service in front of them. It was pretty ugly. Anyway, now wednesday comes.

I get more papers faxed from hyderabad. So I wait, finally I get the call. Sir Ji, everything is ready. I go there, pay cash and the car is delivered in 20 mins. Now, about the personal touch that you do not find anywhere. There is a coconut, sweet and some kind of religious thread. He realizes that I am not a hindu so he takes my friend alone and asks him about me. Then he slowly takes the religious thread away. Then he again asks for my friend and asks if I would like to do pooja on this car. He says no.

It took me 7 days to do paperwork where as it took me 30 mins to do paperwork and take the car away in U.S 6 months ago. In U.S, all I got was "Have fun driving" where as I got a nice box of sweets and a personal touch. Some things never change